The youth of today

I went to watch some show in Reading town hall (I think it was called Expressions) basically it was a whole load of entertainment put on by youth groups from different community centres and it kinda showed how all races can come together etc. It was quite good actually. I'm gonna do a propa write up on the FU site cuz theres bare pics too. There was a varuiety of perfromaces from like Indian dancers (who were not all Indian) to hip hop dancers to actors etc. My best 3 were a group of guys called unq (i think) they were dancers and really good I was like I didnt know Reading ppl had so much talent, I thought their only talent was screwing people and aspiring to be gangsters. But they proved me wrong. If you watched Britains got talent and you remember that lil guy who won, well they did a dance to that song and then at the end they all flipped on their backs like the little boy does.

There was this next dance group called Divine Karma (i think) a group of girl dancers who looked so polished (well most of them) now there was 1 fatty in the group right and I was watchin her like she aint really putting 2 much effort then some bashment came on miss fatty was shakin up herself and dropped into the splits if you saw my mouth drop open I was shocked like the proper definition od shocked like look at fatty doin the splits dayummmm, now I aint that flexible so gwan fatty LOL that group was a mixture of mixed and white girls.

Then there was a group of guys who sang accapella, now I thought their name was '4 christ' but I don't think it is. But yeah it started with like 6 black guys then went down to 4. If you heard their vocal range you can tell they got that from church. Their voices were beautiful like when they were singing I could feel my eyes welling up and all these guys are young like all under 18 wow they were good and they got a standing ovation 2.

I reckon I'll probably see if I can get hold of these 3 groups of people and feature them in the December issue of FU

Carnival Weekend Part 1 - Reading Carnival

So I was 'umming and arring' about whether or not to go I woke up Monday morning feeling drunk like proper pissed which is strange because the night before I literally drank just water no alcohol I aint drank for a while now. Anywayz I felt like shit like the room was spinning so I was like oh i dunno if I'm going. I was supposed to be there from 11 to help send off the floats etc but that wasnt happening. Plus Sasha etc were already coming down from London so it would take the piss if i decided to stay in my yard as they would've have known where to go.

I was gonna take my camcorder then when I saw the weather I thought fuck that this shit aint insured so if it gets wet thats that! So anywayz walked out to meet them in KFC had to put on my wellies cuz it was raining cats and dogs and seeing as I aint actually eating chicken anymore I just had chips.

So we all walked to meet the floats (which were taking their time) so I thought forget this lets jus go to my aunties and wait in the warm so thats what we did arrrr it was lovely, then just as we started to get comfy my cousin came flying in all soaked with her camera sayin they're on the main road. So we had to get dressed again and leave, we then bumped into my sister who was waiting for my other auntie and we stood under the buis shelter and watched the trucks go by. Now some people were dressed like they were in Trinidad carnival belly out and all that I was like dayuuum they must have some tuff skin!

So I was there minding my own business then the Vincy float went by and 2 Vincy guys came out of nowhere and jumped on me and Sasha I tried to run away but no such luck, even my sister didnt even try and save me lol. Anywayz all the trucks past now and the biggest 1 was last which was Funtyme now was there any sober people in that band....hhmmmm I dont think so, Nats was saying they were pissed before they reached and she was taking pics of them at the beginning and the girls were all bending over and liftin up their skirts... I'm sure the white folk thought it looked like 1 big orgy cuz they were goin nuts oh yeah and they even thought that the band had just flown in especially from the caribbean I was like nah they're all from London hehe! Everyone was getting jooked left right and centre sometimes even I didnt know where to put my eyes lol but they all looked like they were having fun and they had the most followers. But i saw a lot of people throwing up and all that so I'm sure they'll be banned next year (which is really gay as they are the biggest band and bring the most supporters with them) but yeah as I said b4 the chairlady don't fuck about so I'm sure they're gone....

Oh yeah I gave a copy of my magazine to Martin Jay who looked as interested in it as I would be in a Star trek book lol I'm sure he didnt read it, but at least I gave it to him.

Oh and cuz I'm technically on the committee I got free food and free drink which was great, i also got myself a Magnum seeing as it's tonic wine and has iron in it :-) then we breezed off back to my flat to get ready to London.

Also once I get the pics I'll post them up

Ginuwine is a Prick!!!

Me and my girl got invited to Club Wembly to a night called History lastnight, I organised some models etc the models were supposed to be onstage with Ginuwine (who was supposed to perform) we were really looking forward it as none of us have been out on a weekday for ages. So we finally found the club but because of the 1 way system we had to drive like around the world just to get to it. Because we were looking for the correct turn off we mustve cut up some next car, who were like 'OI what you doing?!" we was like sorry. Anywayz when they looked inside the car\they decided to pull up alongside my friends car and drive slowly and try it. I was like 'Are you even old enuff to be driving, you can't even see over the steering wheel lol' so after they'd finished asking for our numbers etc they finally got the hint and said bye :-)
We got in the club now and the woman on the door didnt know who we were, I was like we're on the list, you just let in a whole heap of my models, then she was like oh ok and let us thru. Walked thru to the main stage area and it was empty I was like whats goin on then I saw Naija Boy (1 of the ppl who organised it) who told me about all the things that had gone wrong that night. I felt sooo sorry for him and he kept apologising I was like, it's OK these things happen you just learn from them init. 2 lost coaches were the reason why the venue wasn't full.But we were like do u know what we're gonna make the most of it and stay and show our support cuz it's always good to support ur fellow blk folk when they're trying to do something good.

I saw one of my models Sherri who told me she saw the back of Ginuwine when he was leaving I then came to find out that he had stayed all of 15mins and sang 1 song and breezed although he was paid to stay longer and do a photoshoot. What an ass why not just stay and show love to people trying to organise an event. He's sooo dumb and it's not like he's like the best singer ever when was the last time he released like a hit single and was number 1 anywhere, FOOOL!

But aside from that they played some really good music and the people who stayed to support all seemed to enjoy themselves and every1 was dancing and having a good time, they played bashment, a lil bit funky house,rnb etc I was starting to get into it when someone came on the mic and was like 'OK this is the last song' we was like Whats goin on now??? it turns out there was sum longness with the security (basically they were being greedy) so the event had to be cut short and we all had to go home.

What takes the piss is that it had the potential to be a really successful event but i guess it's like when it rains it pours and someone really jinxed them ppl poor things. But I'm sure the next thing they put on will be a huge success and FU will def go and show support :-)

Saturday night- Journey to nowhere

So me and NSAM were supposed to be reviewing an event down West London on Saturday night. She charged up her camera ready to go into full paparazzi mode I had my 'trusty pen and pad' ready to take down all the nights events and somehow we never made it, we went thru sooooooo much drama trying to get there, we didn't even manage to reach West London till some crazy hours by that time things would be done and there would be no photo opps etc. I feel really bad though cuz it kinda makes me and FU Magazine look really unprofessional and unreliable plus I promised me and my photographer would be there to cover the event.It was such a random night we met quite a few weird and wonderful people on our journey to nowhere.

Our night kinda started with us spending about 15 mins chatting to a Guyanese guy in the off licence about rum, We then met some lost Canadian guy (who looked spookily like Capleton) on the bus and had to direct him to North London, then we met some crazy Persian guy on another bus who wouldn't shut up and tried to convince us that he was a 'Persian pussy cleaner' much to the horror of his friends who seemed perfetly normal and tried to pretend they didnt know him.

Before and in between that there was bare drama and flapping about (like females do) lol Plus it took like years to get to London to begin with :-(

As we admitted defeat we ended up down Edgware road eyeing up the kebab shops, we got a nice lamb kebab (I had loads of jalepeno peppers, oooh yummy) and then it was off home.